I have listed a few amusing examples......it is somewhat difficult to paint the picture with words......but hopefully I can translate the humor....
Some of the instances may be those "I guess you had to be there " variety.....but at least I will have them written here for posterity.
I am so going to miss these cute little sayings when I no longer have a little one....
You mean, not everybody has snow at their house for months on end???
We had to drive to the town south of us to pick up his sisters from their sewing lesson. As we were pulling away from my friend's house, he exclaims, as if it just suddenly dawned on him: "Hey! They don't have any snow here!..............they could play baseball if they wanted."
Of course this was most pleasing to his baseball-loving papa.
Not too young to cuddle
A couple of mornings ago......he awakened too early for my preference, and climbed into my bed. I tried to convince him he wanted to go back to sleep.....but I failed. He was rambling about "being alive for one million days." I explained that no one could live that long.....that it would be impossible. I showed him that even if a person lived one hundred years, he would not even come close to one million days. He wanted to know how many days I had lived......sooooo, I began doing the math in my head........using 40 years for my age........till I realized......"Hey! Wait! I am not forty, I am 46!" Then I say....."Gosh. I will be 47 on my next birthday........that's almost 50..... I am getting old!" He throws his body on me and slyly states: "But you are still young enough to cuddle!"....smothering me with hugs. How cute is that!
Why bother with one? Let's do the math here.
After confession, mass and communion, our family is in the habit of praying the following prayer & one Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be for the Holy Father's intentions with the hopes to aid in the release of a soul (one soul) from purgatory.
Behold, O good and sweetest Jesus,
I cast myself upon my knees in Thy sight,
and with the most fervent desire of my soul
I pray and beseech Thee
to impress upon my heart
lively sentiments of faith,
hope and charity,
with true repentance for my sins
and a most firm desire of amendment.
Whilst with deep affection and grief of soul
I consider within myself
and mentally contemplate
Thy five most precious wounds,
having before mine eyes that which David,
the prophet, long ago spoke concerning Thee,
“They have pierced My hands and My feet,
they have numbered all My bones.”
Our niece, Sister Maria Philomena, sent a prayer card to us a long time ago.....long before he was born....., with a special prayer and request given from Our Lord to St. Gertrude.......
Our Lord told St. Gertrude the Great that the following prayer would release 1,000 Souls from Purgatory each time it is said. The prayer was later extended to include living sinners as well. Here it is:
"ETERNAL FATHER, I OFFER THEE THE MOST PRECIOUS BLOOD OF THY DIVINE SON, JESUS, IN UNION WITH THE MASSES SAID THROUGHOUT THE WORLD TODAY, FOR ALL THE HOLY SOULS IN PURGATORY, for sinners everywhere, for sinners in the universal Church, those in my own home and within my family. Amen."
APPROVAL AND RECOMMENDATION: M. Cardinal Pahiarca at Lisbon, Portugal, March 4, 1936
We have always offered this prayer whenever we pass a cemetery, to remind us to pray for the church suffering.
Okay, now you have the background info for his commentary.........
So, he says, from his seat way back in the Yukon XL (Suburban).......
"You know that prayer that we pray after mass all of the time?"
"Well, every time we say it, one soul is released from purgatory, right?"
"And, you know that prayer we pray every time we pass a cemetery?"
"Well, if 1,000 souls are let out of purgatory every time we pray that one.....why do we even bother with the other one after mass?"\\
If I had a super power.........
We were home alone, the wee boy and I:
Boy: Don't you wish that you had the super power to change yourself into anything you want?
Boy: Do you know what I would change myself into?
Boy: I would change myself into a kitten.
Me: Really? A kitten?
Boy: Yes. If I were a kitten......I could cuddle up next to one of the kittens in the garage.....and then quickly change back into myself and grab it so that I could pet it.
Me: Ah, that would be clever.
Boy: If I were a kitten, I could run around under the bushes in the low areas to see what they see.
Me: That would be fun.
Boy: Yeah.......but I would have to be careful not to get eaten by a mountain lion!"
This kid cracks me up!
One of my favorites....an oldie.....
He was about 3 years old, not yet weaned. Like one of his sisters before him, he called nursing "nigh', night."
The girls were watching "Pride & Prejudice" with Colin Firth.
Malachy tells them: "I like Lizzie the best. I think she is pretty. ......And...... 'her nigh', nights' are BIIIIIIG."
I know there are so many more........but my mind is unable to grasp them for now........thanks for reading along with me!